mental health

April 15, 2020April 15, 2020

An Opportunity for Growth

Everyone needs to deal with the pandemic in their own way, so in no way do I want to push an agenda here. Instead, I’d like to consider the possible use of focusing on wellness, health, and opportunity to at least try to counter balance the negative.

Behind the clouds you’ll find the sun, and in the chaos you may find opportunity. Remember though, you won’t find what you are not looking for.

Let This Spark Change. It is hard when we think all day long about what we can’t do. When a mindset of restriction and limitation sets in our brains naturally seek out information that confirms this belief. It actually magnifies it too, because negative thoughts are magnetic and collect allies in rapid time. To get out of this spiral, you have to intentionally look for areas where either we are not limited or where we are benefiting. This is a far cry from being glad that this has happened, that is too far of a stretch for me, but I can acknowledge that not everything that I have changed as a result of isolation has been bad. Without my commute, it is easier to work out during the day (these are not good work outs by the way), and my friendships have become a priority and therefore are deepening. I’ve been pushed to learn about on-line group delivery, and now that I see how much easier it is for people to attend these I will prioritize this service delivery going forward. Is it possible that after isolation we will continue to intentionally seek out connection? I hope so.

Being so intentional about coming together has imparted on me how much I love and need my friends.

Form Healthier Habits. I don’t think that now is the time to overhaul your life, although by all means do it if it is right for you. But this could be a time to break the all-or-nothing rigidity that stops so many of us from taking self-care seriously. The reason I think this may be the right time to learn about the importance of small steps is that many of us feel like small steps are all we have got right now. Being satisfied with a less-than exercise session, eating a slightly healthier dinner, or keeping the sweets to a smaller portion while refusing to beat yourself up would be examples of small-step change that interrupt black-and-white thinking. This is important because our own rigidity and judgement are the ultimate destroyers of personal change.

FINALLY Learn to Let Go. I had an amazing conversation with someone last week. He shared that his entire life he has resisted accepting what is and that finally, he has accepted he is not in control. Pain often comes from the reality of our world, but suffering comes from our mental and emotional resistance to it. If you can be patient with yourself, and slowly notice where your attention has shifted from acceptance of what is to resistance, then you can gently invite yourself to acceptance. This will pass and it will unfold as it will. If you focus on positive action towards things you can control, you will weather the storm in a better state.

The Buddha’s Brain by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. with Richard Mendius, MD is a great book filled with neuroscience explanation and practical tips to help separate pain from suffering.

When it all rises too high, I am reminded that there is nothing we can do but surrender to the reality that we are ultimately not in control. After the panic, there is peace.

Shift into Self-Compassion. You’re tired, cranky, short with your family, not as productive as you should be…the list of shortcomings is endless these days. Rather than constant striving to be 100%, maybe you could just give yourself a break. Be kind, recognize that your 100% today is at a different level, and where did we even get the idea that being 100% all the time is the goal? What about saying, “that’s ok, it’s a big day” or “hey, maybe you need a rest and reset here?” Instead of giving space to the nagging inner-critic, what if you actually wished yourself wellness, peace, and health?

My absolute favorite speaker on the subject of self-compassion is Sharon Salzberg. While all her work is worthy of attention her book, Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection is profound yet practical.

A couple of more resources:

Chelsea Gohd wrote a fun and on-point article sharing tips from astronauts for coping with isolation:

https://www.space.com/astronaut-tips-for-handling-isolation-coronavirus.html

Join our community as we discuss positive changes we can focus on during isolation! We’re hosting a free ZOOM session Thursday April 16, 2020 at 4:30pm.

Email booking@thepracticecalgary.com for the link to join.

In health,

Carmen

March 31, 2020March 31, 2020

DEALING WITH A MAJOR LIFE STRESSOR, FEAR, THREATS, AND DIVORCE IN UNCERTAIN TIMES

Sitting at home in social distance mode, I have found myself contemplating the news and catching up on psychological readings. I have decided to blog about something a little more speciﬁc, scary and relevant to what I’m seeing in today’s current environment.

Someday, researchers will rate where this perfect storm of dropping oil and gas prices, COVID-19, political unrest, social distancing and economic consequences of 2020 will land on the scale of major life stressors. But before this research is done, here is what I have seen as the top 10 stressors for men:

Death of a loved one
Divorce and family
Job stability, moving, finances
Major illness or injury, health
Fast Pace of Life
Friends and dating
Fitness and Activity, leisure, hobbies
Changing world – technology, management styles, and loosing competence in competitive world
Social media speed and evolving zeitgeist of today
Volatility and political/global unrest

Not only is Divorce a terrible loss/stress for children but as Kyle Morrison www.menafterdivorce.com says , “There is no greater emotional pain that is inﬂicted upon a man when they hear those fateful words leave the lips of their lover, their partner, their closest most intimate person, their wife – “I want a divorce.”

One of my mentors and Professors from the University of Lethbridge does applied work with the police and local emergency personal. He has expertise in Critical Incident Stress Debrieﬁng, Post Traumatic Stress/Post Traumatic Growth. My mentor also has a Black Belt in martial arts, trains and competes as well as works with elite athletes. He understands and experiences mental training as well has professional expertise in several areas. He once told me that many of his toughest male clients take the hardest falls from divorce (think rough and tough MMA ﬁghters, courageous men who protect our streets, ﬁght our ﬁres, and come home from military missions). Many men recover from the emotional pain and stress and many successful men break and never recover.

“The blow to men’s ego, self esteem, and entire world view can be devastating. It is one of the most difﬁcult things a man will have to deal with in his entire life. Some men never recover from this due to the lack of support and isolation. These men can end up miserable, depressed and lonely.” Kyle Morrison

The Coronavirus may cause a spike in divorce rates, and we can already anticipate what will happen when couples are self-isolating together. We are seeing reports of a record number of divorce requests in recent weeks from the Chinese city of Xi’an where this virus ﬁrst emerged months ago.

In my work at the practice, I take divorce and family work very seriously and work with people who have struggled with the threat of divorce or have gone through a nasty split. Everyone is different and every relationship is different too. The purpose of this blog is to write out my thoughts and support Calgarians who are in need. I have seen ﬁrst hand and helped many men and woman survive and thrive after divorce.

Fear is contagious. Right now, there is an abundance of fear and threats to our psychological needs and mental health. I believe that we can get through tough times as individuals, couples, families, teams and organizations. Getting through tough times isn’t easy, but in the end, it can be some of our proudest moments based on real conﬁdence and resilience. To “struggle and emerge” sounds great until we are in the struggle.

Economic stress, employment uncertainty, toxic attitudes and behaviours, all contribute to family break up and divorce. Without a strong sense of self, we become the company we keep and divorce is very popular these days.

Whether we ﬁnd ourselves trying to salvage a marriage or survive a divorce, here are a few thoughts of what the process may look like.

“The ﬁrst step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you’re not going to stay where you are.” – unknown

“The ﬁrst step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you’re not going to stay where you are.” – unknown

Working with a psychologist, outside perspective, and professional can help you understand what is going on in your mind. We all have egos, levels of self-acceptance, self-respect, conﬁdence, memories, and family histories.

Many men who have always been high achievers in life and are used to getting what they want, can get lost in the phases of divorce. Our ego tells us that we can handle it ourselves, that “those terrible things happen to other people, not me…not us.” The reality is, when there is massive emotional pain, we often go through:

• Denial…. and see only what we want to see.

• Anger…… which is often a secondary emotion of fear and loss.

• Bargaining…….which can compound the pain as we cannot control others.

• Depression……the terrifying reality, enormity, and change can slowly creep into every part of our life and suck every once of our energy. And ﬁnally,

• Acceptance and Growth which can take years to get to depending on you as an individual, your marriage, context, environment and history.

(Books are written about the pressure, loneliness, reputation, forgetting or forgiving – That’s another blog – not to mention how lawyers are busy with the specific topics of money, property, children, family, etc).

As a psychologist I can be guilty of using acronyms……I am also guilty of blasting “awesome Dad” jokes. So as a member of the Team of Psychologists at The Practice Calgary, here is an acronym to summarize this blog with some suggestions that I have found useful if you are dealing with thoughts or the threat of divorce.

I will urge my clients, before making or reacting to a major life altering decisions, to reﬂect on the following points:

1. Patterns of Self-Doubt in you. Patterns in the relationship. Do you know what they are?

2. Recognize what’s underneath your self-doubt or patterns in the relationship. How does fear and loss play into your anger?

3. Admit you can’t do it alone and it’s okay to get professional support. (beers with buddies, although an easy distraction is not always enough).

4. Courage to act and commit. It’s easy to start well, much harder to stick with it and ﬁnish strong.

5. Take the Time for mental health. Life is busy, give yourself permission to take time for self care so that you can see the needs of those around you.

6. Information is Power. Track relevant data i.e., every time you eat a meal make a note of where you are on a difﬁcult decision that you will have to make. Have your counsellor track your behaviour and reﬂect in each session.

7. Catch the excuses for avoiding pressing issues or pretending like everything will just work out.

8. Execute and act with the mindset, habits, and lessons to move forward and get closer to the people, things, and places you value most. There is no magic.

Please know that we at The PRACTICE are here to support you, via FaceTime, Skype, Zoom or on the phone.

Derek Robinson, Registered Psychologist

Derek Robinson has been a Registered Psychologist since 2005 and has worked in the field of human performance and had the privilege to work alongside some of the best leaders, coaches, teams, athletes, medical and support staff in the world.

November 8, 2019November 8, 2019

Food, Mental Health, and Wellness.

This month our team is sharing ideas about “beating the blahs” in November. This, of course, is the non-technical term for dips in mood, increases in anxiety and stress, and overall decreased sense of wellbeing that many people face in the colder months of winter (and apparently fall this year in Calgary).

Even though many of us will struggle more with mental health challenges in the winter, the link between diet and mental health is a year-long issue. This week we had the chance to talk with our resident Registered Dietician, Rory Hornstein, about the link between diet, mental health, and wellness and here’s what she had to say.

“Studies suggest probiotic applications to the gut can reduce anxiety and depression via the vagus nerve.

Questions remain that touch the core of being human:

(i) Do our microbes influence happiness and to what extent?

(ii) What components of the gut microbiota and their function relates to mental health?

(iii) What role do environmental pollutants (and diet) play in this microbes-host ecosystem?

Quick Tip: Reach for real food first. Eat a minimum of five fruit & vegetables and at least five servings of whole grains daily

Lower bacterial diversity has been observed in people with inflammatory bowel disease, psoriatic arthritis, type 1 diabetes, atopic eczema, coeliac disease, obesity, type 2 diabetes, and arterial stiffness. The association between reduced diversity and disease indicates that a species-rich gut ecosystem is more robust against environmental influences, as functionally related microbes in an intact ecosystem. Consequently, diversity seems to be a generally good indicator of a “healthy gut”. Specific foods and dietary patterns can all influence the abundance of different types of bacteria in the gut, which in turn can affect health. Changes to the gut microbiota can occur within days of changing diet. We can increasingly modify health through food and measure the effects through our microbes or metabolites. Fiber is a key nutrient for a healthy microbiome.

(i) High-intensity sweeteners are commonly used as sugar alternatives, being many times sweeter than sugar with minimal calories. Despite being “generally recognized as safe” by regulatory agencies, some animal studies have shown that these sugar substitutes may have negative effects on the gut microbiota. Sucralose, aspartame, and saccharin have been shown to disrupt the balance and diversity of gut microbiota.

(ii) Food additives, such as emulsifiers, which are commonly found in processed foods, have also been shown to affect the gut microbiota.

(iii) Other areas of concern include the side effects of popular restrictive diets on gut health. These include some strict vegan diets, raw food or “clean eating” diets, gluten-free diets, and low FODMAP (fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides, and polyols) diets used to treat irritable bowel syndrome. I have completed FODMAP training through Monash University in Australia.

This is one of my favorite resources on gut microbiota and diet. It is evidence based – the link below highlights a few of the articles on gut microbiome as related to mental health”. https://www.gutmicrobiotaforhealth.com/en/?s=mental+health

Rory brings her insight and skill-base to our team, as we help our clients navigate mental health challenges, achieve performance goals, and build healthy relationships & lifestyle. We are a collaborative team and a wellness home and are excited to work with our clients on multiple facets of mental health and wellness. This, right here, is why I love the collaboration on our team.