I try to take suggestions from nature, so when it is a time of transition and change, I begin thinking about how
my life could do the same. I don’t know where the habit came from, or why I feel best outdoors. I was not an outdoors type of kid growing up. I was more of an Oprah Winfrey, Jetsons, General Hospital, and Lucky Charms type of kid. I spent a lot of time worrying, I wasn’t necessarily anxious, but worried. I thought a lot. Maybe, I didn’t know I would feel best in nature because I wasn’t really aware that I wasn’t’ feeling my best. I probably assumed that the way I felt was the way everyone felt. That makes sense to me now, because so many people I work with excuse the problems in their lives as ‘just the way it is’.
So today I began reflecting on where my attention and energy has been going lately. I realized that I am in a season of dropping things. Shedding extra belongings, obligations, thoughts, habits and even pounds. Dropping it. I look at the leaves falling to the ground and become aware that they are being dropped because they are not needed any longer, and in fact keeping them would be detrimental. There is a season for all the extras, but when we cling to things merely because we have them, do them, or think them, then we will fail to transition at the natural times of change. When something is telling us that it is time to be different, we must make room for the new growth that comes after a time of rest.
Looking at this functionally or practically means that I have given my energy to letting go. In my house that means I gave away a lot of old clothes, dishes, and books that have outgrown their purpose. In some cases, I was holding on to things like grad school books because it was such a pivotal time in my life; however, realistically I am never going to trench into my basement and dig through boxes of marked belongings to find a book that I’ve probably forgotten in order to look up an obscure psychological line of reasoning. How do I know? Because in the 13+ years that I have been counseling in Calgary I have never done that. Same goes for wearing those jeans I fit in 6 years ago. Or that cook book I was given when I got married that now gathers dust because I can quickly pull up recipes online. I need to take the time to look at how I really live my life, versus how I think I should live it. Embracing how I actually am will help me focus on things that are actually meaningful and important to me.
It also means habits. I am in the habit of being on my phone whenever I am in public and have a minute. I do this when I am at home and have a minute too. I can’t stand this, but I do nothing about it. It means that I have constructed a life in complete void of quiet boredom, and eye contact with strangers who are not bringing me a coffee. Why would anyone want that? I don’t, but I am doing nothing about it. So, as I reflect, I am being intentional about putting the phone away. I have also asked my kids to put their phones away when we drive which has resulted in a significant amount of idle conversation, ridiculous banter, and that has opened the door for counsel. They are developing a habit of talking to me and each other, and that is the precursor to them sharing with me about the things that truly matter.
This can be a more abstract dropping too. I can identify anger, guilt, resentment, and /or sarcasm, as things that I could drop from my life. I am sure most of us could. Because I am writing this blog, and because I want to be real, and because I am feeling particularly resentful right now. I will choose resentment. I will work on dropping it this season. This is a tall order because resentment embodies anger, fear, and disappointment. This is a tall enough task that I will have to delve into it more in other posts. For today, all I can do is think about what growth I would have room for if I could let go of these things. Off the top of my head, I would think ease, connection, and joy.
The point is to drop it. Stop at the time of natural transition and think about what you want to make room for in your life, and what needs to be cleared away for that to happen.
~C.D
