Today is a grind, and although I really do believe in positive intentions and focusing on good stories in my life there are times where that seems too far away. Since Thursday I have been driving nonstop, to work, volleyball tournaments, shopping, and home. It has felt like I have lived in my car, and only used my house for 8-hour stop overs in between. I am under-slept, under-exercised, and under-laughed. I added fuel to the fire by seriously eating garbage all weekend. Now I have stopped, the kids are at their work, Geoff is away for work, and now it is me and a houseful of unmet responsibilities staring each other down. I’m looking over at Wilson, and he’s giving me that look. He know’s I know better. Now I’ve got to dig out of this deflated state and stop this from becoming a downward spiral. 
First things first, throw away the clock. I tend to stare at the clock on days like today, and constantly think about how quickly my down time is slipping by. And it’s natural for people to make everything around them seem more important than it is when they are feeling down or under pressure. This adds an unneeded sense of urgency to the day, and overall breeds discontent. I end up rehearsing everything that I have to do today, which rents a lot of space in my brain and leaves very little to even notice let alone feel grateful for the things that I appreciate. There are things that would be good to get to, but realistically what I ‘need’ is oxygen, water, and usually food (although after this weekend the latter is debatable). The rest of the things on the list may be important, but they are not urgent and my life will go on fine if I don’t get to them. People need to focus more on the quality of what they are doing (whether it is the quality of the task or the quality of the life experience while the task is being done) and less on what they think about the task or what is next. It is your life and it is made up of small moments, so if I were to turn to day around it would mean that I was fully in the moment rather in my complaint or list of what was next.
Re-focus. Look big picture. Although executing today will require me to sit and look at the small picture to work out of a slump (that’s coming next), the big picture perspective can help. In the big picture, I want to build a community are The Practice Calgary, have a loving and fun home environment, serve the people I interact with by giving my best in each moment, and take care of myself in a way that facilitates me fully being in and enjoying my life. When I remember these things then I can see that being rundown today does not stop me. It does, however, mean that addressing my fatigue becomes my first point of focus because I understand that all of the other goals I have rest on how I am doing. I know that I won’t get to 100% today, but I right now I feel way, way too close to the bottom of that scale to manage for more than a day. It is my responsibility to do something about it.
When I hit a wall I generally coach myself to take the next step, and then the one after that. Whether very low, or overwhelmed the best place to start is the single step. Make it simple and think about a 1 – 10 scale, 1 is the lowest and 10 is the highest (think vacation, receiving gifts, winning the lottery) and put yourself, right now on the scale. Then just think about what you have to do to move up or down the scale. I always include the down, because too much focus is on the up and it is important that we realize that we play a part in pushing ourselves further down too. So if I choose to eat junk, go back to bed, or binge on my favorite shows I am sure I’ll go to bed tonight feeling at least as rough. If I try to eat something that is close to green, exercise, or at the very least get out of my pajamas (keeping it real here), then I am more likely to turn it around. If I really want to try to dig out then I can do some laundry (accomplishing simple tasks helps with feelings of overwhelm) or get to some of The Practice Calgary work that is sitting the corner of the room beside the vacuum waiting for me to notice it. Scale it. Once you take one or two steps to move you in the direction you want to go, you’ll probably be at a different number and can continue on the trend. Even if you don’t make it to a 7, you can at least not hit a 1. Also, managing it this way can open up our minds to tomorrow being OK, waking up in a better place, and helps us not allow the snowball of a down day to start an avalanche.
Do these things really matter? Can you actually make a difference in your life by doing the laundry, or making a point of working out? Yes, every time. Long term success, change, or wellbeing (whatever your focus is) occurs when you figure out the minutia of what you need to do daily, and then commit to do it.
Best,
Carmen Dodsworth