If you are a consumer of mental health services (which most of us should be), then you should think of your provider as providing a consumer-based product. The reason that this is critically important is that it puts you in the customer mind-set, which immediately makes you more likely to speak-up when something isn’t working for you, or advocate until your needs are being met. People don’t necessarily like that, but it Is true. I’m not suggesting that you start bombarding your doctors or therapists with needs for immediate attention or threaten to withhold payment unless a demand is met, but you should be making sure that the service provider is meeting their end of the bargain.
But many people don’t. They return to therapists or mental health services that do not meet their needs, or do not deliver the service in a way that they can digest. And yet they return time and time again. This is a serious problem for me, a psychologist and clinical director of The Practice Calgary, and genuinely caring human, because it undermines mental health services everywhere. The number of times I have heard someone say that they went to a therapist and it was unproductive or unhelpful or weird, is staggering, but what is more astonishing is the overwhelming response when I ask the person what they did in that situation to get the better services…” nothing”, or “stopped going”. There are two problems here; 1. they now don’t believe in mental health services, and 2. they did not get the help they need. I am not sure which is the larger issue – perhaps it’s an issue of scale.
I am not afraid to issue both criticism and deep respect for the profession I make a home in. I am deeply humbled to be amongst colleagues who have endless appetites for understanding their human behavior in such an intense way that they believe they will somehow break through a vortex and emerge on the other side with a new and profoundly different approach or understanding of our species. I am also aware that as a profession we have a reputation of being either weird or broken. I understand that. However, if you do
not think your therapist and you live on the same planet, then how likely is it that you are going to take their advice? Seriously, think about it. People are more influenced by others who are relatable to them, and they like and feel liked by. I do not agree that a therapist needs to be removed to be objective. In fact, I believe that so much of the positive results I have seen with clients has linked back to a fairly basic start. I get it, and I care. And it’s not hard to find see what I am into or where my energy is going. I am on social media daily, I post, I blog, and I include real photos of my life. If that does not do it, then you’ll have a pretty good sense of who I am after a few minutes of talking to me, and that should be enough for you to have a bit of an inclination as to whether or not we’d work well together. The same goes for every clinician on our team.
OK, this is not going to fit everyone. Some clients do want the medical-model approach. I respect that, but I am far less inclined to offer it. I can, but it is not my favorite. Some of the best experiences I have had since opening The Practice Calgary have been demanding and vocal clients, who have asked more of me, I have delivered, and they have been equally as vocal with their thanks.
This is not a blog about me being the greatest therapist. This is a blog about giving you encouragement and permission to expect more from your provider. Need notes after sessions? Great, ask for it. Need different service delivery? Great, ask for it. Need to include your dog in the session because can’t leave him alone but also need your mental health support? Great, ask for it (true story, shout out to my dog buddy N… you know who you are). Your provider is allowed to say no, but there may be a bigger conversation, a compromise, or another provider for you.
Why does this matter? Because I care deeply about my profession and hold accessible and effective mental health highly. I am a sales person. I think constantly about our consumers, meeting their needs, and going above and beyond what people expect from a provider. I value greatly the trust, time, and financial obligation of seeking out a therapist. Our team works as a team, which means that we understand that because of personality, history, demeanor
and an entirely different list of reasons (I was once declined by a client because I have a nose ring) you may not fit with
your therapist. No one person is a good fit for everyone. That is why we encourage people to be verbal, tell us you love our energy but not your therapist and let us match you better. It is why we have a client care manager who follow clients from start to end to check-in with clients periodically through service to understand their experience. It’s also why right now we have “Letters to Santa” station in the waiting room for siblings (and I guarantee you I will be hand-writing replies in about 3 weeks). Service delivery and genuine caring.
Best,
Carmen