Every year around the winter daylight savings time change, we see a significant influx of crisis calls from familiar and new clients. Most people will share that they can’t put their finger on any one specific thing, but rather allude to a sense of not being ‘ok’ and of losing the capacity to cope with life. This is often accompanied by anguish that they are not ‘ok’ and fear or shame that something is truly inherently wrong with them. There is some relief in knowing that you are not alone in feeling this way, and still there is a sense of feeling like you should be different. If by different you mean not human, then OK. If it is a sense of you needing to be super human so that you don’t have these types of human experiences, then read on.
Today the sun rose at 7:55am, and it will set at 4:49pm. That is a lot of darkness. When the sunlight touches us, our bodies release serotonin which is a hormone that significantly impacts our mood. It lifts and regulates our emotional state. When we are exposed to darkness melatonin is released, which makes us feel sleepy. The sunlight also helps with many other good things like Vitamin D, which plays a role in memory, focus, and stress responses. On top of the impact of darkness, the shortened days and cold weather mean a significant reduction in fun for many of us. Life can become even more monotonous and filled with to-do tasks, rather than I-want-to activities. The change of the clock is also the time when we really, really realize that summer is over and we are feeling the effects of the first snow fall. September’s excitement and novelty has long worn off. Christmas holidays are too far to be excited about and tend to seem like an ever longer to-do list this far out. And because we are at the start of winter, many of us have not transitioned yet and are still in the “I hate this weather” mentality. (On a side note, we should all think about the concept of living in a northern climate and complaining about the snow). So, when all of these changes compound as they do around this time of the year, people feel less vibrant, motivated, awake, and happy. Less like themselves. However, there are things that can be done to set yourself up for feeling better. Make small, manageable and maintainable, lifestyle changes.
So many people tell me that lifestyle strategies to help with mood don’t really work. What I think they may actually be saying is that they don’t work immediately or in a large way. There is no real instant gratification to making small changes other than to know that you are doing something productive. The most immediate difference you may notice is an improved sense of esteem. There is another way to look at it though. Do you know what I am doing when I don’t go to bed early? Staying up late, drinking wine, and preparing my next day sluggish mildly hung-over feeling. When I am drinking a litre of water to brighten up, I am probably avoiding the third, fourth or fifth cup of caffeine that will wake me in the night for a quick review of everything I forgot to do that day. When I am in the gym or out for a walk? I am less likely to be turning to over-done fistfuls of carbohydrates as a way of boosting my mood or energy. It doesn’t mean that those things don’t happen, but they are less frequent and less severe when they do. Managing our wellbeing is not as simple as avoiding bad habits, it is about adding in positive ones too.
Complaining about inevitable realities is another drain on our mood. People tend to underestimate how much the negative commentary that we keep impacts our mental state. It is Calgary, and it is cold. Why be upset about it? Being overly negative about snow, weather, dark and short days, reflects a mental state of stress. These are predictable circumstances, that will continue to happen whether you are OK with it or not. When you find a situation in your life that presents repeatedly you can either; change the situation, change yourself, or leave. In this case you could either change Calgary’s weather, change the way you think about the weather, or move. But, to stay in Calgary and react constantly to this situation is toxic.
Obviously two of the options are not feasible for us, although I suppose some could move. The option to change your thoughts about it is reasonable. This does not mean that you have to LOVE the weather, but you could at the very least be neutral about it. Sure, I’d love a warm sunny day, but if it is going to be cold and snowy then maybe I can light the fire, make a hot drink, and eat dinner there. I have learned to love winter sports, not because it is natural for me to do that, but instead because I place a great deal of value on fun and time with family and friends. I don’t appreciate the darkness, but I have responded to it by taking vitamins and altering my clinical schedule a little to allow for me to be home slightly earlier so that I can sneak in a quick walk with my very poorly behaved dog (and usually a family member or two). I’ve had to wake up much, much earlier than I would like to but I choose to create time for some ‘life’ activities before I start the clinical work so that I don’t feel off-balance or build a life of all-work. Stop and take some time to look at the life you have constructed, be clear about what is in your control, and be intentional about the way you engage with your circumstances.
Every running race I have done, I have found great relief when I pass the half-way mark. So, it is no surprise that I know there is only 36 more days until Winter Solstice, the day that will bring the reversal of the shortening of our days. Challenge yourself to write down a few small changes, and see if you can maintain them most days until Solstice. Bed early, less alcohol, more exercise, healthier diet, meditation, vitamins, less complaining…whatever you choose just be sure it fits you and make absolutely sure you include a goal of fun.
~C.D